I don’t know what to say lately when I write

It’s not even like there’s some kind of fight

Going on inside like there usually is

But I’ve been tangled and mangled and caught up in biz

I can feel all the tightness as I go about my days

And I can’t even believe all of the different ways

I try to detach from what’s inside, the way that I feel

Even though I’m on this path to help myself heal

Isn’t that funny, the way that it works?

The path has twists and turns and quirks

It’s a journey of the spiritual and humanity kind

Some days even with your spirit lens you’re blind

So you whirl and swirl, you spin and you turn

For weeks and months you lay around and yearn

For the day when all of a sudden the fog starts to lift

And your awareness and your perspective start to shift

It’ll be clear to you why it’s happened this way

And why all of these dues you simply had to pay

There are no mistakes and you know the drill

Yet you seem so tortured so many days still

But that’s ok, you’re still doing great

And it’s hard to interrupt your inevitable fate

So keep your head up, try not to sink low

And trust if you’re meant to be there you’ll go

It’s a bitch I tell you, this humanity thing

But think of all of the gifts that you’ll bring

To your family who has been your main focus

And you’ve experienced a lot of crazy “hocus pocus”

But you’ve learned not to judge and that’s really key

For becoming who you’ve always really wanted to be

Someone who can hold space for those when they struggle

And when they feel they’ve been given the world to juggle

So keep trudging on and trust your path

And when it gets hard remember, “this too shall pass”

This awakening shit ain’t for the faint of heart

One day it’s light and the next day it’s dark

It reads on your face that you’re going insane

And you try to find a list of the things you can blame

You focus on the logical because of your intelligence

But my dear you can see that it has no relevance

To the journey you’re on to connect both of the parts

You didn’t get a say in where you would start

So spirituality came first and made the world glow

It was the beauty and the magic that stole the show

Remember that day when you went to the store?

Oh my goodness, it was the furthest thing from a bore

You wandered the aisles wearing a huge grin

And everything had meaning except the word sin

It was like you could see the whole dance of the universe

You wanted to hug strangers and make the move first

Because it was a genuine love that flowed through your veins

Honestly, I laugh, they probably thought you were strange!

But your friends seemed intrigued and they leaned in closer

They might’ve been thinking, take her out back and hose her!

Then you got the calling to return to your home

And you struggled because look at what had been made known

You received this precious gift and never wanted to leave

It was like God saw you suffering and sent a reprieve

But you knew it was time, there was something inside

Saying please go and don’t wear too much pride

So away you went, trusting the call

Little did you know you were about to take a fall

From this plane you were on, you came crashing down

And every day you paused and took a look around

Wondering how could it be, that this was the plan?

Weeks came and went when you could barely stand

You know the days well, when you try to get out of bed

But it feels like your body has been pumped full of lead

It feels like trying to move mountains by yourself

You question the state of your mental and physical health

But the good news is that your angels found you

And they’re there when you need them to help you subdue

The overwhelming places that you find yourself in

When your world and your head suddenly start to spin

Most notable are Christie, Amy, Leslie, and Luke…

And don’t think for one second that it was some kind of fluke

You gave up the idea of needing so many

So it was quality you focused on, you didn’t choose just any

And now look at just how far you’ve come

Shorter are the days when you come undone

But you have a ways to go, please don’t give up

And even though it’s scary try not to be so abrupt

It’s a process and it has a timeline of its own

But be proud of yourself because lifetimes you’ve grown

And one day you’ll have the knowledge of both

Spirituality and humanity through all of this growth

And don’t forget that someday you’ll light the way

For those when they find their lives in complete disarray

And you’ll know what they mean when they tell you their story

Even if it’s devastating and sad and gory

You’ll quickly notice the sense of confusion in their tone

And you’ll know that that’s a state of mind that you’ve owned

So keep up the good work, we’re all very proud

We’re watching you my dear, from up in the clouds

I want to talk to you about the Art of Compassion

You can practice it with passive or forward action

You can begin today, right where you are

And you don’t have to go incredibly far

As a matter of fact, you can start with yourself-

Think about all of the things that you’ve felt:

The loss, the pain, loneliness and rejection…

Your greatest gift is your commitment to reflection

You know the way, it’s in what feels right

And you know you don’t get there via mental fight

It comes from your gut, deep and within

And over time with your thoughts it will blend

Fluidity and confidence are your very next step

You’ve been in the dark and you’ve seen the depth

So now when it comes, you won’t be as shaky

It’ll consume you and you’ll still feel really achy

But now my child, you have a foundation

So as you continue to move through God’s creation

You’ll build upon that, and your roots will take hold

And someday you’ll feel more warmth than cold

I know it’s been tough, but you kept your faith

Even when it felt like you were bound to break

You’ve earned your wings in this life that you’re living

Because you gave the time and the love to forgiving

Yourself and your family, no doubt it was hard

To consider letting down that protective guard

But here we are, and you’re still alive

Another day down with your eye on the prize:

To help others because you know where they’ve been

Maybe not outside but definitely within

To feel lost and rejected, shamed and unloved

You’ll bring the love and compassion from above

It wasn’t in vain, but you’ve always known

And now look at just how much you’ve grown

You deserve to be proud, a big pat on the back

Never forget, you’re on the right track

There’s this path you will go down and it’s all about healing

You’ll make your way there after decades of reeling

An angel will find you in the darkest of spaces

And you’ll be guided into the most precious of places

You won’t feel that when you’re there, but don’t be discouraged

Dig deep, stand tall, and know that you have the courage

To walk down this path that won’t be SEEN by all

And it might look to those around you as some kind of fall

They may even think that you don’t care for their help

You’ll get discouraged, depleted, and start losing your health

It’ll feel so confusing, and you’ll want to give up

Because the shift from “good-days” to “bad-days” is abrupt

And you’ll find yourself begging for some kind of light

Anything to keep you from the ongoing plight

But your angel will know and she’ll hold a sacred space

Even if she’s hundreds of miles from your chosen place

Because there was a pact that was made before it all began

She chose to find those suffering and next to them she’d stand

She’ll lean in to you when you’re shaking and just want to crumble

Her Voice will reassure you, it’s so kind and so humble

What a gift you’ve been given, to make your way here

Where your Worth will go from black, to muddy, to clear

It won’t happen overnight, be patient along the way

And trust that those meant to be there will stay

You’re doing great so please continue to believe

That soon are the days when you’ll feel childish and free

You’ve longed for these things for longer than you know

Now your pain is dispersing and it’s starting to show

In your smile, your joy, and even your laughter

You’re seeing that you are loved and that healing matters